On the first couple of dates, it can be confusing to determine who should pay the bill.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, a woman explained that her date had asked her what her favourite restaurant was, and, being honest, she mentioned it was way too extravagant for a first date.
Despite offering a less expensive restaurant option for dinner, the man insisted they go to the pricey place instead. “My favourite restaurant, on the other hand, is about $500 for two,” the Reddit poster clarified.
According to the Reddit user, after going to the restaurant, the bill came around and it was more than $500. “Of course, since it’s a first date I say ‘Oh separate checks,’” she wrote, mentioning that her date also wanted separate checks. “So our separate checks come, no problem by me. I put my card down, he puts his down. When our server comes back to grab them, he takes my card, gives her both the checks, says he’s covering it all, LOOKS AT MY CARD INTENSELY.”
In the post, the woman said her date then made a questionable comment while looking at her card, telling her: “Oh, I finally know your last name.” She explained in her post that what upset her the most about the interaction was that her date seemed to be testing her to see whether or not she would offer to pay at all.
“He invited me on a date so I assumed he was paying. He then said separate checks, making sure I knew I was paying for myself. Then he grabbed the checks and paid it all (annoying the server and me),” she wrote.
“I’m feeling like this was a s*** test to see if I would pony up to a $250+ each restaurant bill. I felt like he was checking to see if I was a gold digger or something, even though I’d literally told him we shouldn’t go there on the first date. The place I suggested we could’ve had tacos and tequila flights for less than $50,” she continued.
After he paid for dinner, she wrote that she took an Uber home and then blocked him from contacting her. However, when retelling the story to one of her friends, she was deemed the “villain of the story”. The Reddit post concluded with the woman asking for commenters’ opinions on whether or not she was in the wrong.
Many people took to the comments to confirm that the woman was likely being tested, and she did the right thing. “The fact he knew WHY you were withholding your last name, and seemed to manipulate the situation to ‘win’ somehow, is deeply concerning,” one comment began. “I would have blocked, too. And probably more than just blocked.”
Another commenter agreed, writing: “I would consider it weird that someone who isn’t rich wants to go to that place (love bombing?) then trying to impress with money they don’t have? Then play that weird card game (test?)… all of that is off-putting at LEAST. Also, you can date, block and ghost whoever you want. Especially random men who are basically strangers.”